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Saturday, January 05, 2008

It's Secretary's Day Again. Woo-hoo.

It’s Secretary’s Day Again. Woo-hoo!

Last year I wrote something about Secretary’s Day, as did I the year before. And to this day, I still get incoming clicks from Google on subjects like ‘sexy secretaries’ and ‘secretary’s legs’. The internet never fails to amaze me everyday.

I don’t have a secretary, never had one. But if I had one, these would most likely be true:

  • If she was Chinese, she’d be Chinese educated and named either Mandy / Candy / Viola or named after one of the months from April to June.

  • If she was a Malay, she’d most likely be tudung-clad and with some pseudo-English Malay name like Liza or Farah or Rina. And she’d be reading Kosmo! or Mastika if she comes in early before work.

  • Her husband will come and pick her up at 5pm everyday. Therefore she can’t work late coz she won’t have a ride home.

  • If she drives to work, there is a 90% chance that the car would a Kancil or Myvi. One a week she’ll drive her husband’s modified Honda CRX. We all can hear the exhaust when the car turns the corner 2 miles away.

  • Table is full of cutesy stuff. If you accidentally move one of the teddy bear / plastic flowers / koala bears / birthday cards even by one micro-inch, she can tell when she comes back.

  • Everyday, from 11.47am right up to lunch time at 12.30pm, she’ll be on the phone (with both hands still working on the keyboard) with the other secretaries all over the office debating the biggest question of the day – where to eat for lunch.

  • All her pens and erasers have her name written on it. If one is missing she’ll stop everything to look for it.

  • Don’t ever take her mug from the pantry and use it, even by accident. All hell will break loose.

  • She’ll work in the company on the average 2.72 years. Then the next Liza / Farah / Candy or Mandy will replace her.

Anyway, it’s not I’ll ever have a real secretary. Office boys like me never get one. Happy Secretaries Day, everyone.


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