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Monday, November 13, 2006

Top Ten Signs You Should Start Updating Your Resume (…and Consider Quitting Your Job)

Another year end. Time to start doing all the work you were supposed to have done in the past 10 months, review coming up... Another year of hoping for a non-existent bonus, another year of promises by the management.

Where's that floppy with your resume, then?

Top Ten Signs You Should Start Updating Your Resume (…and Consider Quitting Your Job)

  • Every morning, in order to get into your office, you have to dodge the chettiars and money collector thugs banging down the front door looking for your boss.

  • Company has reported a RM4million pre-tax loss for the 3rd consecutive, while all your boss has just upgraded his brand new Lexus Harrier to the an even newer E-Class Merc.

  • Every Friday evening after work, instead of having drinks together at the pub, the company accountants spend the whole night shredding documents. They call it a ‘good housekeeping practice’.

  • Analysts have downgraded your company’s stock from a call of 'hold' to 'sell' to 'sell immediately' to "OMG, get the hell out NOW".

  • You joined the company 5 months ago as a junior exec. Yesterday they just promoted you to the CFO – the 7th one in the company this year.

  • Every time you ask your Financial Controller "How’s the SC investigation coming along?" he inadvertently runs off and curls under his desk in a foetal position, bawling "I don’t know anything about it…!" like a baby.

  • One fine day, while reading in the toilet, you realize that your company’s business plan, mission statement, 5-year strategy and SOP were all copied entirely from old [tag]Dilbert [/tag]comic strips.

  • The last time you’re the server crashed, the office computer guy valiantly saved all the data – after getting serious help from the tea lady, the garbage collector and an imaginary friend called 'Skippy'.

  • In order to get past the first round of interview of this job, your GM required you to beat him at online Texas Hold 'Em.

  • At the [tag]Google[/tag] and [tag]Microsoft[/tag] offices, they have machines dispensing free soft drinks and candy for the staff. Your office has vending machines dispensing [tag]Prozac[/tag], Maalox and legalized weed.


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