Aisayman, Long Time No See

Question:
If a friend or ex-colleague of yours, whom you haven’t seen or heard from for 5 or 6 years calls you up, makes small talk, asks about your family, then asks “Can I come and see you this weekend?”, what do you think he wants?

Answer:
Well, I can think of a few possible answers. Let’s review them one by one, shall we?

Answer 1:
He wants to sell you insurance. Or some MLM crap he just joined. Happened to me a million times. You know, they join these companies and they teach you to find your ‘warm’ contacts first, blah blah blah. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against buying insurance or direct-selling. Just don’t call me after 5 years and pretend to care about my pet goldfish. Another one of my ex-classmate inadvertently insulted my family (in a lame attempt to make friendly chit-chat) and didn’t make it to the can-I-come-and-visit-you stage.

Answer 2:
He is getting married. And he needs to summon you with a red envelope. Usually, after the wedding, there is another 5-10 years of silence. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, considering some of the people I know.

Answer 3:
He is trying to recruit you to join the Heaven’s Gate and Earth’s Temple Cult of the Damned. He needs to fill his 144 member-get-member quota to achieve diamond-status before the mass suicide on 14th July. If I were you, just hang up the phone and disconnect the line.

Answer 4:
He actually and honestly wants to get re-acquainted with me and my pet goldfish. That’s quite scary, man. Even scarier than all the three other answers above combined.