Scenes That You WILL NOT SEE in Star Wars Episode III

I can feel the force of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith starting right now. First the media is going to play it up on all fronts, followed by endless teasers and montage clips on TV and the Internet, then the merchandising and Happy Meal toys, etc.

I just watched the trailer on Astro. It doesn’t show much, but most of us already know the main story since 1983 – Anakin seduced by the Emperor to join the Dark Side, Anakin fights it out with Obi-Wan, all the Jedi exterminated by the Sith, leaving only Yoda and Obi-wan, Amidala dies and twins separated, clone army become the Stormtroopers. Then there is the top-notch CGI, battle on land and space, lightsabre duel, anti-hero fighting his inner demons, yadda yadda yadda.

But the details and side stories are still pretty much unknown. But I can tell this much, I definitely WILL NOT SEE these scenes in the movie:

• Any serious acting or Academy Award winning script-writing.
  
  
• Amidala and Anakin doing a Bollywood love song-and-dance routine in the forests of Dantooine.
  
  
• Any appearance by Vulcans, Romulans, Klingons, the Borg or the Dominion. (No wait, on second thoughts…)
  
  
• Comic relief scene featuring Jar Jar Binks and a bunch of drunken Ewoks.
  
  
• Han Solo making an appearance. (Darn. He’s the coolest Star Wars character ever)
  
  
• Ditto for Jabba the Hutt. And his lesser known cousin, Pizza the Hutt.
  
  
• Any technical explanation by starship engineers on how they managed to induce artificial gravity inside the space crafts.
  
  
• How Anakin finally designed that poofter / ghey Darth Vader outfit.
  
  
• Male bonding scene between Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader with the former WWE wrestler Vader.
  
  
• Anakin finally gets an inspiration for his Dark Side name when he visits a Malaysian banana leaf rice restaurant. (“Dey, macha, can give 3 pieces of dat vadir, aah?”)
  
  

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