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Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Scenes That You WILL NOT SEE in Star Wars Episode III

I can feel the force of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith starting right now. First the media is going to play it up on all fronts, followed by endless teasers and montage clips on TV and the Internet, then the merchandising and Happy Meal toys, etc.

I just watched the trailer on Astro. It doesn’t show much, but most of us already know the main story since 1983 – Anakin seduced by the Emperor to join the Dark Side, Anakin fights it out with Obi-Wan, all the Jedi exterminated by the Sith, leaving only Yoda and Obi-wan, Amidala dies and twins separated, clone army become the Stormtroopers. Then there is the top-notch CGI, battle on land and space, lightsabre duel, anti-hero fighting his inner demons, yadda yadda yadda.

But the details and side stories are still pretty much unknown. But I can tell this much, I definitely WILL NOT SEE these scenes in the movie:

  • Any serious acting or Academy Award winning script-writing.

  • Amidala and Anakin doing a Bollywood love song-and-dance routine in the forests of Dantooine.

  • Any appearance by Vulcans, Romulans, Klingons, the Borg or the Dominion. (No wait, on second thoughts…)

  • Comic relief scene featuring Jar Jar Binks and a bunch of drunken Ewoks.

  • Han Solo making an appearance. (Darn. He’s the coolest Star Wars character ever)

  • Ditto for Jabba the Hutt. And his lesser known cousin, Pizza the Hutt.

  • Any technical explanation by starship engineers on how they managed to induce artificial gravity inside the space crafts.

  • How Anakin finally designed that poofter / ghey Darth Vader outfit.

  • Male bonding scene between Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader with the former WWE wrestler Vader.

  • Anakin finally gets an inspiration for his Dark Side name when he visits a Malaysian banana leaf rice restaurant. (“Dey, macha, can give 3 pieces of dat vadir, aah?”)



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12 Comments:

  • I've watched the DVD about the making of Star Wars III a few months ago. Predictable enough. They even created a game for this movie.

    By Blogger Halian, at 4/19/2005 09:22:00 am  

  • wow, dat was fast of them. seems like the hype machine started immediately after episode 2...

    By Blogger Simon, at 4/19/2005 09:32:00 am  

  • Very cute! Jabba the Hutt will probably not show up unless Anakin decides to visit Tattoine (sp?) again, me thinks.

    By Blogger sexymama, at 4/19/2005 12:31:00 pm  

  • I like the last one! LOL.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4/19/2005 12:52:00 pm  

  • That was me.

    By Blogger Jason, at 4/19/2005 12:52:00 pm  

  • jason - :P forgot your password izzit?

    sexymama - jabba i can live without, but pls bring back han solo... (he'll probably be 10 years old in episode III)....

    By Blogger Simon, at 4/19/2005 01:41:00 pm  

  • ROTFLOL...the Pizza the hutt and the dat vadir!

    By Blogger Twinsmom, at 4/19/2005 03:18:00 pm  

  • LOL...
    Pizza the Hutt was actually shown in a movie called SpaceBalls! :D

    Chewxy

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4/19/2005 08:27:00 pm  

  • will there be an ER scene of how Anakin is terribly hurt and a gang of genius Doctor transformed him into the deadly Vader? :)

    By Blogger keng 坑, at 4/19/2005 09:11:00 pm  

  • chewyx - yeah, i ripped the joke from spaceballs, i love that show!!!

    keng - o i see.. that's how he got that mask and costume...!

    By Blogger Simon, at 4/19/2005 11:39:00 pm  

  • i actually have a life sized dummy/doll/mannequin of Darth Maul in my appartment, peering out at anyone passing by.
    He's my bodyguard as he's sure scared the fcuk out of a lot of people who've visited me for the first time. Tee hee hee.
    My bro won it in some Burger King competition when episode 1 came out. Must take picture and post it on blog.

    By Blogger Shan, at 4/20/2005 10:45:00 am  

  • shan - darth maul was so cool, too bad he lasted only one episode b4 he was sliced in two.

    Eh, post la picture, i wanna see!

    By Blogger Simon, at 4/20/2005 11:31:00 am  

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