Top Ten Things NOT to Do When You’re Lost while Jungle Trekking

Top Ten Things NOT to Do When You’re Lost while Jungle Trekking by Simon (NOT speaking from experience…)

• Drain out your phone battery trying to call Domino’s Pizza all night because you are hungry.
  
  
• “Oh, yeah? You think you’re a TIGER means you’re the king of the jungle eh? BRING IT ON, FAT CAT!!!!”.
  
  
• Try to emulate anything MacGyver ever did. It ain’t gonna work here, man.
  
  
• “We’re saved! That lion from ‘Madagascar’ is here to save us! Woo-hoo!”
  
  
• Freak out in the jungle just because you didn’t join the Pengakap (Boy Scouts) when you were young because you thought the Chess Club was so much cooler.
  
  
• “Don’t worry! We must stay right here! I just got a coded message from the mother ship, they are coming to rescue us with their tractor beam!”
  
  
• Try to use the ‘Force’ to find your way out.
  
  
• “Since we are all gonna die here anyway, let’s share with one another who our favourite Backstreet Boy is…”
  
  
• “Trust me, I can find the way out. I watch a lot of adventure movies. Follow the sun. It will set in the North and we will survive by eating all these brown ‘cream’ on the ground…”

• Don’t piss off the monkeys. Have you ever watched Planet of the Apes?

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