Some Things You Don't Know About Star Wars by Simon

This will be the last Star Wars posting. I promise (fingers crossed). Next week the Batman jokes and parodies will commence. (Unless I do the Fantastic Four ones first)

• Darth Vader’s helmet comes with MP3 player with headphones, X-ray vision to gawk at the female aliens, and need 2 coats of turtle wax everyday.
  
  
• George Lucas modeled the character Darth Sidious/Emperor Palpatine after certain Malaysian retired politician.
  
  
• Some symbolisms to satisfy the Da Vinci Code fans : Lightsabers = male phallic symbols. Death Star = female fertility symbol (?)
  
  
• When the Scottish actor Ewan MacGregor grows old years from now, he will look mysteriously like Alec Guinness.
  
  
• Yoda is gay (do you SEE any girlfriend or children?)
  
  
• The Wookies are the reigning Intergalactic Basketball Champions, after defeating the Battle Droids All-Star team 143-27 at the Naboo AstroDome.
  
  
• After the success of the grow-you-own Sea Monkeys set, Toys ‘R’ Us are planning one for the reptile creature (the one Obi-Wan Kenobi was riding).
  
  
• The main reason why Jar Jar Binks was not given any lines in this movie was that everytime he said something, the rest of the ambassadors would beat the crap out of him for his annoying fake accent.
  
  
• If anyone gave you a Stormtrooper armour, don’t bother using it, it doesn’t work. One blaster shot and you’re dead.
  
  
• There were rumours of X-rated video clip circulating the Coruscant World Wide Web involving Padme Amidala and C3P-0.
  

Other moronic Star Wars-in-Malaysia posts by Simon:

What to do When You’ve Watched Star Wars Sixteen Times Already...

Too Many Star Wars Blogs

Top Ten Things That Will Happen If Darth Vader Became the Emperor of Malaysia

Top Ten Most Annoying Habits of Malaysian While Watching Movies

Top Ten Surprises in the New Star Wars Movie

Scenes That You Will NOT See in the New Star Wars Movie


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