What Really Happened...

Mike - Why did you bring your baby here? You’re supposed to be working!

Jenny – Look, I’ve no choice! My babysitter cancelled at the last minute, my parents are out of town, and I can’t find anyone to look after her, so I had to bring her here!

Mike – Jenny, this is an important job! If we screw it up, our bosses at the station are SO going to fire us!

Jenny – No, no, Mike. Nothing’s going to happen, OK? You just do the interview, I’ll handle the camera with one hand and hold the baby with the other... She won’t cry, she’s such an angel.

Mike – Uh, I don’t know. I’ve got an uneasy feeling about this. Couldn’t you leave her in her cot here in the van? I’ll leave the air-conditioning running, at least we can get on job.

Jenny – I can’t do that, Mike! She’s just a baby! What if something happened to her? You’ve got to help me, Mike. Please? Remember when I covered for you when your mom was hospitalized? Huh, remember that?

Mike – Alright, alright. I’ll do the interview holding the microphone, and you handle the video camera AND the baby. Just make sure she doesn’t cry, OK? Gawd, if something goes wrong, my career as a reporter is down the drain, man. And you, you’ll probably never get another gig as a cameraman in this town again. Oops, I mean, camera-woman… Stop playing with the baby rattle!

Jenny – OK, calm down here he comes! Here comes Tom!

Mike – OK its show time! Let’s do one good, clean take…

Jenny – Oh, wait could you hold my baby’s squirt bottle for me? You’ve got one free hand, I can’t hold anything else…

Mike – Why can’t you leave it in the van…! Tom’s almost here! Oh alright… (grumbles…grumbles…) Tom, Tom, I’m Mike Smith from CNN UK, can I ask a few questions regarding your humanitarian work in Africa…

Jenny – NO, MIKE, DON’T SQUEEZE THE BABY BOTTLE LIKE THAT! YOU’RE GONNA SQUIRT IT ON MR. TOM CRUISE…!

Mike - Huh? What's happening...? Jenny...!

Tom Cruise – WHAT THE…?! Why would you do that? Do you like thinking less of people, is that it? Don't run away! That's incredibly rude!! I'm here giving you an interview and you do that ... it's incredibly rude. YOU'RE A JERK ... JERK ... YOU'RE A JERK!!!

(and that my friends, is how it actually happened...)