Top Ten Signs Simon Needs A New Car

For those of you that have seen my car, they can attest how many of the following points are true. Nine years on the road, one major accident, (and a few minor ones) this road warrior has definitely seen better days… Now that his comrade 8555 is famous, this old junk is in severe depression…



Top Ten Signs Simon needs a new car

• Older people keep mistaking his car for the one used in the old Starsky & Hutch TV series.
  
  
• MTV’s ‘Pimp My Ride’ is practically begging Simon to let them use his car for the show.
  
  
• Everytime he brings his car to the workshop, the mechanics cheer and pop champagne.
  
  
• The annual insurance premium costs more than the car’s street value.
  
  
• Due to noise and smoke pollution, Simon is not allowed to drive by schools and kindergartens during schooling hours.
  
  
• Tractors and backhoes flash and tailgate him on the main road.
  
  
• Simon can ‘drift’ his car at 37km/h.
  
  
• When his family goes outstation, PLUS issues him a special ‘extended hours’ ticket at the toll booth.
  
  
• Spare parts for his car can be found in the ‘Proton Vintage’ section of the accessories shop.
  
  
• After spending so much on repairs, his mechanic Ah Keong refers to Simon’s car as the ‘pot of gold’.
  

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