SPM A1 Record: A Fictional Story

Mom: Lilian ah, Lilian? Did you read yesterday’s headlines? This girl got 17 A1’s in her SPM! She broke the record!!

Lilian: Uh-uh….

Mom: Lilian! Are you even listening?! What are you doing? Are you watching MTV again? I thought I told you NO WATCHING TV during weekdays and weekends!!

Lilian: Awww, mom…! I never get to watch any TV! And this is my favourite show. And besides, the papers say students should watch more TV to improve our Eng-ger-rish, right, mom?

Mom: NO TV DURING WEEKDAYS AND WEEKENDS! And don’t try to be funny with me, OK?

(Lilian makes a face and dutifully turns off the TV)

Mom: Now look here, the national record has been broken and we need to revise your target if we’re going to go for gold…

Lilian: What record, the high jump?

Mom: SPM A1’s, you dungu! Pay attention! Now, our previous target of 16 A1’s is out of the window… This girl has reached 17, which at first I thought was not humanly possible…

Lilian: Are there even THAT many subjects in SPM?

Mom: Quiet!! Now I heard Mrs. Gan’s daughter is going for 20, that kiasu woman… and that nosy Mrs. Pasamanickam’s son is also gunning for 20. I have them eating humble pie. That means…

Lilian: Oh, oh, American Idol is starting soon! Ryan Seacrest is so cool!

Mom: … so you’re going for 21 A1’s. Yes, TWENTY-ONE!!!

Lilian: Uh, hello….?! Have you, like, lost it? Isn’t, like, 8 A1’s enough? I have no life now, Mom! Everyday its study, study, study! Then its you screaming and nagging and screaming! I need a life!

Mom: Yes, 21 should do it! I can see the front page now…! “Jinjang Girl Scores 21 A1’s, Mother Main Inspiration”… Lilian! Have you memorized your thank you speech for the press release and PM’s award? Never mind, we still have time for that…

Lilian: Please mom… I can’t take all this pressure…

Mom: Right, now we have to register you for 5 additional subjects. Now’s where’s the exam handbook? OK, you’re taking Usuluddin, Sejarah Mesopotamia Kurun 6, Archeology for Beginners, Brain Surgery 101, what else…oh! Zen and Zoroastrianism Comparative Religious Studies!

Lilian: Mo-om! I don’t want 21 subjects for SPM! Why can’t I just do 8 like everyone else?

Mom: Like everyone else?! Do you want to a Neurosurgeon OR NOT?!! I say you break the record!!! Do you hear me…!!!

(Author’s note: Fast forward to March 13, 2006. Lilian failed miserably in her SPM by scoring ONLY 8 A1’s, two A2’s, and five C3’s. She didn’t attend the last 6 papers due to a nervous breakdown. Her mother is now working on her younger brother’s Primary 2 exam preparations...)