10 Richest Billionaires in The World, Again

I blogged about Forbes’ Top 10 Billionaires List here, and since I’m still hoping to be a billionaire one day (HAHAHAHAHAAA…!), I can’t help blogging about it again. Today, let’s look at the 10 richest dudes. Julius Chan has strangely dropped out of the list.

So, like David Letterman, let’s count ‘em down:

Number 10: S. Robson Walton (US, RM69bil) – Chairman of Wal-Mart. It’s a bit like Tesco & Giant. But unlike Giant, this one actually knows how to make money. Actually, father Sam was the guy who made the money, this guy just won the genetic lottery to be born rich. Probably beat his brothers silly to be dad’s favourite. Which proves my theory: If you’re a guy, make sure you’re born into a rich family. If you’re a girl, marry into one.

Number 9: Larry Ellison (US, RM70bil) – CEO of Oracle. Oracle makes servers, I think. Either that or he’s the descendant of the Greek goddess on Mount Olympus.

Number 8: Karl Albrecht (GER, RM70bil) – owns supermarkets and also motivational speaker. Probably made his money by conning people with buzzwords and catchphrases like “Believe in yourself and you will succeed!” or “The fear of failure is the failure of fear!!!”

Number 7: Paul Allen (US, RM80bil) – became rich by virtue of being Bill Gates' friend. So if you know someone who you think is going to be super-rich, be nice to him and be prepared to suck up big time…

Number 6: Ingvar Kamprad (SWE, RM87bil) – IKEA boss. Millions of kiasu and 'oi meen' Malaysians and Singaporeans have put this guy at No.6. Don’t believe me? Try to go to IKEA in Mutiara Damansara this weekend…

Number 5: Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Alsaud (SAU, RM90bil) – Oil money. Probably the president of OPEC or something like that. Don’t mess with with these people, or you’ll be riding bicycles to work.

Number 4: Carlos Slim Helu (MEX RM90bil) – No idea who he is. Probably owns half of Mexico.

Number 3: Lakshmi Mittal (IND, RM95bil) – richest Asian in the world. Never heard of him before last weekend. I reckon he made his money in an ingenious plan: He went round all of India asking RM92.50 from everybody. Since India has 1,027,015,247 people, that’s how he ended up with RM95 bil. I heard some guy in China is doing this same trick. Oh, Lakshmi Mittal also sells some steel products in his free time.

Nunber 2: Warren Buffet (US, RM167bil) – The TRUE richest billionaire in world. I taught him most of his investment techniques when I was his college roommate in Omaha back in ‘57. Has never thanked me for that, but I forgive him, he’s a busy man.

Number 1: Bill Gates (US, RM177bil) – Obtain his fortune by being the illegitimate offspring of Lucifer and a fallen angel. Leader of an underground tingkap-worshipping cult in the US, with its history going back to Leonardo Da Vinci and Abraham Lincoln. Has a horde of hidden Egyptian treasure under his master bedroom toilet.