This Should Explain A Lot to Most of You

Star: I need a new name for my new image – something that projects my personality and aura to my million of fans worldwide…

Agent: Fans? What fans? Millions?

Star: You know, all those teenage girls that watch my TV show, and that are going to buy my new music CD showing off my awesome undiscovered singing talent.

Agent: (cough, cough) Talent? What talent? Sometimes some things should stay undiscovered. Weren’t you kicked out of the Korean Idol auditions 4 years in a row?

Star: You should hear my new CD. My music is haunting yet beautiful, my recording company is talking about a tour to support the album. You know, lots of MTV-style dancing, showing off my washboard abs and skimpily dressed back-up dancers. There’ll be female dancers, too. MTV is American for “MUSIC TELEVISION”, you know that?

Agent: Oh wow, did you figure out that all by yourself? Which reminds me, have you re-paid your mom and grandma for the liposuction on your stomach?

Star: I’ve been thinking about my name. All this green-eco-environmentally conscious crap seems to be hot, so something along those lines, hor?

Agent: And what did you have in mind? “Greenhouse Gases”? “Polarcaps Melting”? Ooo! Ooo! How about “ChloroFluroCarbon”? Rolls off your tongue, doesn’t it?

Star: No, no. Something short, one word. So that all those screaming girls can fit my name in the signs they hold up during my sell-out concerts. Besides, I have problems with big English words, like ‘contract’ and ‘credibility’.

Agent: How about ‘Bland’? Or ‘Crap’? Oh wait, maybe ‘Lame’?

Star: Are those environmentally-friendly? I’ve been using this awesome space age technology called “Google” on my 10-year nephew’s computer, have you heard of it? It awesome!

Agent: Google? I *think* I’ve heard of it… (rolls eyes)

Star: How about ‘Haze’?

Agent: It’s unhealthy, everybody hates it, it makes people sick, YES, IT’S PERFECT FOR YOU…!

Star: But I dunno, I don’t like words with ‘z’ with in it. Hard to sign my autograph for my millions of screaming fans…

Agent: Hmmm, environmental single syllable words? How about Rain? You’re practically a washout anyway.

Star: Rain? I LIKE IT! I can see it now – the biggest rising star in Asia… RAIN IS COMING!!!

Agent: Then you probably should bring in your mother’s laundry outside...