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Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Sempit II: Some More Love Story

(Due to mildly popular demand, I have written the sequel to my earlier Sempit: A Malaysian Love Story. If you haven’t read it, you can do so here.)

Vijaya: Here we are in my father’s very large living room. He’ll be coming down than grand staircase anytime now… Ray, are you sure you want to go ahead with this?

Raymond: As sure as the sun rises in the… in the… (mumbles to himself) “Dong…Nam…Sai…Pak”…east! As sure as the sun rises in the EAST I will confront your father about our love!

Vijaya: I’m just afraid he’ll do something to you. He is a very hard man, darling.

Raymond: What’s the worst that can happen? I’m going to tell him that we’re getting married, and he will see that we are in love, and he will give us his blessing. What can go wrong? He...

Father: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE? (father comes down slowly and dramatically from grand staircase)

Vijaya: Father, no! This is Ray…

Raymond: Uncle! I have come to ask for you daughter’s hand in marriage. We are deeply in love, uncle. Please give us your blessing…

Father: GIVE YOU MY BLESSING?! How about I give you a kick in the…

Vijaya: No, Father, no….!!!

Father: You dare defile my daughter’s purity? We are a proud Brahmin race! WHERE’S MY PARANG?!

Raymond: Please be reasonable uncle… Not that bad maa, nowadays mixed marriages in our masyarakat majmuk is very common. Besides, our children will get exotic looks, can act in TV commercials or become Miss Malaysia….

Vijaya: Eh? Children? Miss Malaysia?

Father: Why you…. Bodyguards! Throw this infidel out!

Raymond: No, wait! I have this great business plan for Ah Long-chettiar venture! And Gong Xi-Diwali! MGR classics dubbed in Cantonese for Wah Lai Toi

(The two bodyguards grab Raymond and drag him screaming and struggling outside…)

Raymond: No, wait… Vijaya…! Uncle…! You haven't heard about my idea for Brickfields...!

Saravanan the Bodyguard: (whispering) I say, macha, don’t scratch-scratch my face, lah. Movie only lah. Tomorrow I got another audition for Gerak Khas

Raymond: (whispering) This bloody director-lah… how many times he want to shoot this scene…

(Read the sequel here.)


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