Eating Freaky Stuff

Let me put it out right away. Chinese people eat freaky stuff.

It’s bad enough with the endangered species like tiger’s privates and the snake meat, there’s also the disgusting stuff that’s suppose to be good for you like baby mice and some other animals that don’t see much sunlight.

The ‘thin kai’ (paddyfield frog) is pretty okay, it actually tastes like chicken, without so much meat and taste. And man, their legs have lots of muscles.

There was one time in JB, I was walking in this pasar malam (night market) and these guys were selling snake parts. They had this huge basket of common snakes, you know those type that you find in fields – those 4 feet long ones in black and grey. The same ones you see flattened on the highway after being run over by a speeding Petronas tanker.

Anyway, there were apparently different parts to the snake’s anatomy to meet different common ailments that the average person faces.

First, those guys pulled out a live snake clipped its head with a huge clip binder (the black ones you buy at the stationery store to clip your reports together) affixed to a metal stand. Then they clipped the tail so that the poor snake is stretched vertically. They then took a cutter (the type you use to cut paper) and SLIT THE SNAKE right down the length of the stomach.

Then they used their hands and squeezed out the snake’s blood into a cup. While the snake is still alive.

And they sold this fresh blood to the members of the onlooking crowd. And people actually bought this stuff. And chugged it down immediately. I passed on the offer. All the while the salesmen were continually extolling the healing properties of this wonder juice. I can’t remember one Snoopy mug of this stuff cost, but I’m thinking a little more expensive than regular ribena.

Then after the snake has pretty much died, they cut out the kidney. They then carefully slit it open, squeezed out more magic juice, and sold it in smaller cups to the crowd. This one cost even more.

And finally, they cut off the snake’s genitalia and sold it to this guy who swallowed it whole and downed a mug of regular A-grade snake blood.

Let’s just say, after that I wasn’t really in the mood to eat any meat right after that…