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Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Searching for Your Soulmate

Although I wrote a blog poking fun at the types of Malaysian boyfriends available for girls to find, this can be a very serious matter for most people. Some people go through plenty of heartache through failed or painful relationships, some people find their soulmates waiting for them around the corner.

And some people go through their entire life forever looking, but never finding that him or her.

In terms of finding a partner for life (for better or for worse), there are generally two schools of thought. The former believe that there is only one person out there destined for you, you have to find that particular person, that one perfect soulmate. Anyone else can be a good partner, but they are ultimately not the right one for. Although this perception holds some truth, it is often used as a excuse when a certain relationship goes wrong.

The second school of thought professes that there is no special someone, we have to work to make any relationship work, the success or failure of any relationship depend solely on how much the two parties want it to work or put into it. Therefore, a person must choose carefully the character and traits of the person he or she wants to date, if certain prerequisites are not met, then the relationship will most likely fail. Both views are wildly popular, not bounded by race, religion or upbringing.

But what do I believe in? I used to believe in one extreme (I won't say which), but I later held that there is a middle road. It is a combination of the two opposing views, i.e. there is a certain group of people (not a single person) that are right for you, but having found one, you still have to put your heart and soul into the person to make it work. There is no easy way in a relationship, you only get what you put in. But that really doesn’t mean if you marry someone that isn’t ‘right’ for you, it will end up on the rocks. I also believe that if the couple love one and another, nothing much can really stand in their way.

I never really went ‘looking’ for a girlfriend. But one night many years ago, I was bumming around in my friend’s office at night, waiting to go somewhere with him, an angel in a brown dress walk through the door. Through some divine intervention, she now bears my family name. At that instant when I saw her through the doorway, I didn’t really think of whether she REALLY was my soulmate or not, or about making it work: I just saw an angel.

This post is dedicated to JG & SL, getting married soon. In life, sometimes we find that there is no true love for us, or that a chance that has gone could’ve been the One. But as I used to tell my long-suffering friend El,

It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

Millions of lonely hearts are out there looking for love every day, every night. Some find it, some never do in their lifetime. But love, just like life, should always go on.

Back to main page.


  • Agree with you on this one. Except mine is an insurance salesman whom sold a policy to my ex-bf. What a twist!

    By Blogger 5xmom, at 5/18/2005 02:03:00 pm  

  • I think I've found her, but going around three years without introducing myself is quite extreme, isn't it?

    Wish me luck.

    By Blogger NSDS3HvLDjJd, at 5/18/2005 03:25:00 pm  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger NSDS3HvLDjJd, at 5/18/2005 03:25:00 pm  

  • couldn't agree with you more dear...

    By Blogger anucia, at 5/18/2005 03:31:00 pm  

  • Wow Simon...interesting topic. Never really thought about it as I found mine. It's just that 13 years ago, I never thought that the boy who always sat at the back of the lab would be my husband. We were introduced 6 years ago by a mutual friend and hooked till now!

    By Blogger Mama22Beas, at 5/18/2005 03:37:00 pm  

  • 5xmom - most ppl generally avoid insurance salesmen!

    nsds3 - just tell her. even if she laughs at your face (which she probably will not) at least you know you'll never regret not trying...

    anucia - thanks for coming by. i like your blog, esp the definition of malaysians!

    mam22beas - wow. i love all these romance of former schoolmates.

    By Blogger Simon, at 5/18/2005 03:57:00 pm  

  • Hahaha, Simon, I had converted him. Otherwise, I would never marry an insurance salesman. 'Cos what if he potong trick to every guy like what he did to my ex-bf. LOL!

    By Blogger 5xmom, at 5/18/2005 04:16:00 pm  

  • waah...Dr Love is in da house :-)

    By Blogger anjali*, at 5/18/2005 07:58:00 pm  

  • Really interesting. Agree with you on the middle road thingy. Wonder when will my "girl" come then... -_^

    By Blogger Zer0, at 5/18/2005 10:11:00 pm  

  • *agrees wholeheartedly*

    By Blogger Ginn, at 5/18/2005 10:58:00 pm  

  • Morning dude! Am Baaack!!!! Spanky is up and running! And yes, you're the first one I kacau-ed!
    Have a great day!

    By Blogger Shan, at 5/19/2005 09:30:00 am  

  • 5xmom - your ex-bf must be fuming mad, man!

    anjali - eh, i'm not dr. love laa...

    zer0 - maybe today's your day!

    ginnie - cheers!

    shan - long time no see!

    By Blogger Simon, at 5/19/2005 12:21:00 pm  

  • interesting piece, i cudn't agree more =)


    By Blogger SuniL, at 5/24/2005 12:55:00 pm  

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