Job Application Letter. And A Very Good One At It.

Attn.: The HR Manager,

Dear Sir / Madam,

Application for Post Of XXXXX

I refer to your full page ad in the newspaper ad today, which probably cost a whole lot of money, from which i deduced that you guys are rich and can pay me a lot to do less than my current job. Well, okay, my current job isn't all that bad, but i screwed up something and would rather leave before more people find out about that fiasco. My company is very good at 'pointing fingers', or whatever cool new management buzzword they use to call it. You know my company, your direct competitor, which i will gladly bring all their secrets with me to your company. The address of my company is clearly printed on the envelope containing this letter.

Anyways, please call me for an interview, i haven't worn my clean shoes and tie for awhile, since my last interview, in fact.

Attached is my resume, feel free to read it. Let me tell you first i can't remember half of the stuff there, it's been awhile, i tell ya. In fact i'm not sure if i actually DID most of those stuff, after such a long time, the line between white lies of a padded resume and reality blurs together. Anyway, let's just assume i did all those stuff and know all that i say i know, 'k?

Please also keep the interview short - 10 minutes max. I can only lie and keep a straight face that long before i... well, anyway.

Call me. Let's do lunch.

Regards,
Job Applicant.

But seriously folks, read this to better prepare yourself for all those killer interview questions.

Some Lines That Probably WON'T Appear in the New Harry Potter Book

You know what? In a few months time, the whole world is going to go crazy with Harry Potter mania. Already now, J.K. Rowling's hype machine is in full swing, gearing up for the release of the last (or so she says) book in the HP series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Although i've read all the books so far, i'm not particularly a fan, more of just to see 'what all the fuss is about'.

Everyone's curious as to who are the main characters that Rowling will kill off and what will happened to Harry.

But I know some things for sure. The following passages WILL DEFINITELY NOT be appearing in the new book.

**++**

"Really?" said the new first year Hogwarts student to Harry Potter. "You don't look like a 17-year old wizard. More like a 18-year old child actor who once posed topless for Equus. But that’s just me..."

**++**

Hermione burst into Harry's room in the Gryffindor dorm and her jaw nearly hit the floor when they she what greeted her. It was Harry's shocked eyes that first greeted hers. "I wanted to tell you all along… it's not what you think!"

"How could you not tell us?!" Hermione screamed, close to tears. "You? And Ron?! Oh put down the baby oil, for Merlin's sake."

**++**

"I don't know," replied Harry, as he looked up to Ron and Hermione from his Defence Against Dark Arts textbook. "Yesterday, during Quidditch practice, for no apparent reason, I was overcome by this overwhelming feeling that millions of book-buying muggles out there was getting pretty sick of me. All of a sudden. What do you guys make of that?"

"Oh don't worry, Harry. It’s probably just the euphoria of being the most popular kid in Hogwarts," replied Hermione. As she turned away from Harry, he was puzzled to spy her roll her eyes at Ron.

**++**

"Oh come now, Harry. Why bother with the other players in Quidditch? It's just buggery waste of time, innit? It doesn’t matter how hard we play or how many we score. Just wait for the Golden Snitch while we all go for some tea in the dining hall."

**++**

The crowd of students in the Great Hall hushed down and focused on Professor McGonagall who was getting up from her seat. "Thank you for your attention, students. I'd like you all to meet two gentlemen who will be with us for a few days," she said, gesturing to the two strangers with unkempt facial hair and strange spectacles. The acting principal continued, "They will be carrying out some research of their own, so please give them your fullest cooperation.”

The two gentlemen grinned back at Professor McGonagall. The first one nudged the other and whispered, "This is going to be our best experiment on Mythbusters yet…"

**++**

Voldermort turned to Harry slowly, and with a slow deep dying breath, said, “"Dumbledore has taught you well, but Harry, I AM YOUR FATHER…"

**++**

Snape was white with anger, and he raised his arms theatrically… "Oh for crying out loud, not the freaking Invisibility Cloak again?! How many times are you going to use that freaking cop-out plot device? The next thing you’ll be telling me there’s another 3 books to follow! Or a prequel!"

What? SPM Results Out Already?!

Last Monday the SPM results were released. Or so i was told.

So after a few months of slacking off and unbridled freedom for the 17 year olds all across the country, it was one weekend of anxious waiting and flurried text messages.

I remember during my time, (oh, just a few years ago) when they announced on national news that the SPM results would be released, I rushed out and told my classmate, who was living next door to me, about it. For some reason, he refused to believe me, saying the national news on TV was wrong.

No, really! Harjit Singh Hullon, the cornerstone of Malaysian prime time news said so! If Harjit says so it's got to be true!

No-lah, cannot be, my friend said.

Hmm. Either he's living in utter denial that his 3-month honeymoon will last forever, or he thinks the examiners take 6 months to mark boring essays.

Anyway, come Monday, all of us trooped back to school on our racing bikes. Most of our friends were there, looking like nervous wrecks, some rich ones who were off to expensive colleges already sent their parents / uncles / drivers / maids / personal secretaries to collect the result slips for them.

I don't know if the arrangement is still the same, but they put the general results on the notice board for everyone to see. But this showed only whether you passed or failed, and which grade you obtained. And if you have any outstanding school fees (or did not return any of the school's precious textbooks), they'd black out your results.

To get your individual results, you'll have to line up in front of the office. All those kiasi topscorer students will be right in front, with their anxious parents looking on, clutching their Prada bags and Far Eastern Economic Journals. I was lining WAA-AAY at the back with all my mat rock friends, making bad jokes about the girls in my class.

So anyway, i got my results (its in a small slip of paper). First things first - check whether you passed Bahasa Malaysia or not (or else my dad will kill me). If not, can you 'July paper'? Next check whether i passed English or not (or else my mom will kill me). Thank God I did, you know my England not powderful one la.

My Most Memorable Movie For 2006

First off i watched lots of movies last year, no thanks to my DVD player. I've always been a huge fan of movies, but you know, these i hardly have time to relieve myself, let alone go to the cinema (and look for parking, queue for a ticket, wait for the show to start, sit through inane ads, etc)

The other day i was wondering to myself which of the many movies stuck in my mind the most, but soon i realized that picking an ultimate list would be difficult, so i just picked the first one that came to mind, which would make it the most memorable.

Ready or not, here goes:

Nope, it's not a major summer blockbuster, not the most talked about remake, or any of those difficult to understand dramas that win lots of awards.

It's very different documentary-style movie about the 4th plane that was hijacked along with the 2 that hit the World Trade Center in New York and the one that crashed into the Pentagon in Washington.

4 terrorists hijack United flight 93, and carry out a suicide mission. It all starts innocently, like any other morning in America. As the chaos start to unravel, more and more people get involve - the air traffic controllers, the military, the control tower people, and lots of people who are just too complacent to do anything before it was too late.

"A hijack? When was the last time THAT happened?"

That line was mentioned twice, and show the unpreparedness of the nation who prides itself as the greatest on earth.

The director, Paul Greengrass shoots a stunning movie. He gives no opinions, no solutions, no hearsay, and none of the usual Hollywood crap we've come to expect.

There are no stars in this movies, witty dialogue, no happy endings, no heroes. Actually, there are heroes, it's just the everyday man. The brave passengers staged a daring fightback, but sadly, as history would note, it was all in vain.

It's a disturbing movie. it might make you sick, it might make you fear to fly. But it's the truth.

Watch it.

*********

For those who want a complete (more or less) list of movies from last year, you can check out IMDB or this page by the director Kevin Smith.

6 Weird Things About Myself

RULES: People who are tagged should write a blog post of 6 weird things about them as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says ‘you are tagged’ in their comments and tell them to read your blog.


Hmm. actually i just remembered i did a similar one some time back, but hey, let's try again. I'm pretty weird, so won't be any problem coming up with 6 more things.


My mom told me that when I was small, i refused to eat anything black or dark in colour. Like black beans (tau sar). Like dodol. Like cincau. I suppose it didn't have anything to do with the colour, just a coincidence. But dodol just feels icky in my hands... These days, i eat lots of black stuff - dark chocolate, um... and uh, um... hey, maybe my mom WAS right...

I love drainpipe jeans. Like the mat rocks used to wear in the 80's. I know it shows my age, but i never liked the baggy, floor sweeping, boxer-revealing style. Faded blue drainpipes for me, or black.

I'm current watching Witchblade the anime. I just LOVE the way they pronounce it, something like "Uicchibureido". Read a bit of the original Top Cow comics featuring Sara Pezzini back in the mid-90's, didn't fancy it much. Lots of jiggling around and posing. Now this anime, there's still lots of jiggling AND a great story. And that Rihoko girl is sooo-ooo cute...

(pic from wikipedia)

I have a problem remembering complicated names. I usually have a fantastic memory for most other things (except work and school), but if I am introduced to someone with a name like Chiang Chiaw Shieng or Thiagarasu, i find myself struggling to remember after a few minutes. Unless i really concentrate to remember. But you're always not prepared to remember especially when you're meeting a lot of people.

When I was growing up in my early secondary years, I had a huge crush on my best friend, this girl i saw almost every day. She was fun, chatty and outgoing. But we only remain friends who shared a lot between us. I always thought feeling was mutual even in the very smallest way, but hey, i guess somethings are meant to be as they are. She's now faraway married with kids of her own, as i am. Ah, to be young and carefree again.

I beginning to think I am a Calvinist in some ways all these years, but Arminian in others. I dunno. I believe what i believe, and am only beginning realize what is wrong and and what isn't. I used to love this tune by Aerosmith that perhaps summed up my philosophy in life back then:

That one last shot's a Permanent Vacation
And how high can you fly with broken wings?
Life's a journey not a destination
And I just can't tell just what tomorrow brings

I tag whoever who wants to do this. And let me know if you do.

Two Property Exhibitions Coming

Oh yeah, before we forget there are two property exhibitions coming up on consecutive weekends. First up this weekend, is the annual MAPEX 2007 organized by REHDA.

Malaysia Property Exposition (MAPEX ) 2007

Date: 9 to 11 March 2007 (Friday to Sunday)
Venue: Halls 2 & 3, Mid Valley Exhibition Centre (MVEC), Mid Valley Megamall.
Opening Hours: 10:00 am - 9:30 pm
Admission: FREE
Organizer: Real Estate & Housing Developer's Association Malaysia
(REHDA Malaysia)
Telephone: 603-7803 2978
Fax: 603-7803 5285 / 7805 1206
Website: http://www.rehda.com

If you don't know where Mid-Valley is, just ask any teenager who loves shopping.

Next up, the following weekend:

Mega Malaysia Property Showcase 2007

Date: 16 to 18 March 2007 (Friday to Sunday)
Venue: Legar Putra, PWTC.
Opening Hours: Not sure, but should be the usual-lah.
Admission: FREE
Organizer: Exhibition Guide (M) Sdn Bhd
Telephone: 603 9056 3323/012 3062 980

As with the previous years, MMPS is held at the same time and venue as the mega-crowd magnet MATTA Fair, so the place will be jam-packed with people. We'll definitely be there for the latter (frankly, more for MATTA Fair), as for MAPEX, see first la. I'm thinking 90% of the exhibitors will be the same for both events.

Property Fairs in KL

Just came back from another property exhibition in the city - this time it was the MAPEX 2007 (national level) at the Mid-Valley Convention Centre. MAPEX is supposed to be the premier property exhibition in the country, they have a series of roadshows all across the country to promote regional developments in the various states.

This one is suppose to be the national level exhibition where all the biggest and best developers come and showcase their most prestigious ongoing projects. But somehow, after going through the two large halls of exhibitors, i hardly found anything exciting. Worse still, most of the projects on show were the same as from the one i attended exactly one year ago.

Actually, MAPEX has been around for quite some time, about 10 years i think. But in recent years, a few other events organized by other people have come into prominence. There are two others that are really big - Mega Malaysia Property Showcase and International Homebuyer.

MMPS is actually next week, to be held in PWTC. It's smaller than MAPEX, and with the close proximity of the 2 events, most of the exhibitors would probably be the same. International Homebuyer is the big event that is the most impressive. It's usually held in KL Convention Centre, this year would be the 3rd installment. They're the most advance, and definitely the one that is the one i like the most.

It's usually held in August. Looking forward to that one.

Eating Freaky Stuff

Let me put it out right away. Chinese people eat freaky stuff.

It’s bad enough with the endangered species like tiger’s privates and the snake meat, there’s also the disgusting stuff that’s suppose to be good for you like baby mice and some other animals that don’t see much sunlight.

The ‘thin kai’ (paddyfield frog) is pretty okay, it actually tastes like chicken, without so much meat and taste. And man, their legs have lots of muscles.

There was one time in JB, I was walking in this pasar malam (night market) and these guys were selling snake parts. They had this huge basket of common snakes, you know those type that you find in fields – those 4 feet long ones in black and grey. The same ones you see flattened on the highway after being run over by a speeding Petronas tanker.

Anyway, there were apparently different parts to the snake’s anatomy to meet different common ailments that the average person faces.

First, those guys pulled out a live snake clipped its head with a huge clip binder (the black ones you buy at the stationery store to clip your reports together) affixed to a metal stand. Then they clipped the tail so that the poor snake is stretched vertically. They then took a cutter (the type you use to cut paper) and SLIT THE SNAKE right down the length of the stomach.

Then they used their hands and squeezed out the snake’s blood into a cup. While the snake is still alive.

And they sold this fresh blood to the members of the onlooking crowd. And people actually bought this stuff. And chugged it down immediately. I passed on the offer. All the while the salesmen were continually extolling the healing properties of this wonder juice. I can’t remember one Snoopy mug of this stuff cost, but I’m thinking a little more expensive than regular ribena.

Then after the snake has pretty much died, they cut out the kidney. They then carefully slit it open, squeezed out more magic juice, and sold it in smaller cups to the crowd. This one cost even more.

And finally, they cut off the snake’s genitalia and sold it to this guy who swallowed it whole and downed a mug of regular A-grade snake blood.

Let’s just say, after that I wasn’t really in the mood to eat any meat right after that…

Fast Food Nation

There’s been quite a lot of buzz in the papers about kids eating too much fast food these days. But if I were any of the fast food company executives, I won’t be worried one bit, these things will blow over in a month or so, after the storm in the teacup smoothens over. In fact, I’d say they getting free publicity in the national news.

Anyway, these fast food chains face far bigger government and public pressure in the US.

But here’s why I think fast food chain is popular, and why it’ll never cease to be so:

It tastes good. Damn good. So good people will forget (or forgo) about whatever health risks they are undertaking. After watching movies like ‘Super Size Me’ or Fast Food Nation’, they’ll probably quit cold turkey for about a month or so, then the lure of fatty oils and complex carbohydrates will hook them in to say “a little bit once in a while won’t hurt”.

Kids love them Happy Meal toys. Heck even some adults collect them. Not just Happy Meal toys, Fun Meal, Kid’s Meal, Sad Meal, whatever meal they have packaged with the gimmicky plastic toy there is.

It seems affordable, it’s fast, it looks clean. Although it’s not really cheap compared to what you can eat elsewhere, they make it look so with their value meals and offers. Fast, yes, but clean, well, on the outset they really keep it spick and span. But inside the kitchen and how they process the food, that’s unseen to the public…

Media blitz. It’s everywhere. On billboards, in the papers, on TV, now even insert discount coupons inside your newspapers.

Cant think of anymore. Gotta go get my Big Mac fix…

American Idol Last 16 - Guys Night

Oh man. It was the guys' turn to sing tonight, on the last semifinal round before the last 12 grand show next week, and it was pretty disappointing. I can't believe i waited one week for this. As i was watching Ryan Seacrest introduce the guys one by one at the start of the show, i was just telling myself that the remaining guys were all pretty good... well except Sanjaya.

But it turned out that most of them were just ho-hum. Let's see one by one:

Blake - back with the beatboxing again, but did well.

Brandon - Singing your fav songs week after week doesn't mean it'll sound good on TV but i know this guy's good. i hope he goes through.

Chris Richardson - missed his performance.

Sundance - Gave a good performance. First time i've heard a Pearl Jam song on AI.

Jared - Sounded weak tonight. But relative to the rest, not that bad.

Phil - weak, weak, weak. If i were him, i'd be worried.

Sanjaya - geez, will all the young girls stop voting him just b'coz he's 'cute'? He totally slaughtered John Mayer's song! And I LIKE that song!

Chris Sligh - This guy doesn't have the best voice on the show, and he knows that. So every week, he needs to up his game to avoid being eliminated. But this time round he didn't.

Because Your Skin Is Important To You

You know what? Every night, when we sit down to watch TV, my wife never fails to apply softening lotion on her hands as we watch our favorite series on the tube. Why? Because she knows it’s important to maintain healthy and smooth skin.

My colleague, a young lady, wear elbow length gloves when she goes driving when the sun is hot, for the simple same reason. Because to a certain extent, how you take care of the health and well-being of your skin says a lot about your personal hygiene.

Now there’s an excellent site on Skin care information, including advice and tips on all matters related to the largest organ in your body – your skin. There you can find stuff on illness and condition, procedures and treatment.

Hop on over for a visit, and take a big step to maintaining young and beautiful skin.

Hot Weather and Mr. Al Gore

I don't know about you, but it's getting really hot around here these days. And by hot, i mean the weather, not hawt as in looking pretty or sexy.

I dunno, this whole greenhouse gasses induced global warming can be pretty depressing. And to top it all off, looks like the haze is starting to come back again. Only just slightly. And it's not even the haze season yet.

I can see the pattern emerging for the past few days. Hot, hot, hot weather in the day, thunderstorms in the evening. I'm not too bothered with the thunderstorms, it's the traffic jams it causes that's a pain. And you know around here, a five minute shower just before 5pm can choke the entire city.

Ranting aside, mega-corp YTL is screening the premiere of Al Gore's 'An Inconvenient Truth' some time later this month for their platinum membership card members. They've begun the media ad blitz with full page ads in the local papers. I'm all for being green, but what made me think about Mr. Gore and his much publicized movie is this - what would he have done about it all had he been (rightly) elected as president back in 2000? Would he have had the clout to practice what he preached?

I mean, i'm not saying he won't, as hypothetical as that situation is, but it's easy for him to be a all-conquering environmental warrior, but it's another thing to be the same conscientious guy while in the Oval Office.

By the way, Big Al has really put on the chunks. He looks like spokesman for some fatty peanut butter product.

Come Together At The Together Gather Party!!!

Yep, unless you've been living under a blogging rock for the past few months, you've probably heard of the Together Gather Party 2007 coming THIS FRIDAY. And guess what? I'm GOING TO BE THERE!!!

For those of you going, come and say 'hi' to me there. I'll be the one sitting in the corner wearing the nametag that says, er... 'simontalks'.

For those not coming, ummmm... too bad. I hear there are places on the waiting list in case some people cancel, like on standby for a fully booked MAS flight.

Anyway, Rojaks, after all the hype, I will be VERY disappointed if:

• I don't get to see the DIGI YELLOWMAN there!



• I don't get a KICK-ASS doorgift!

Also looking forward to meeting (and camwhoring) with some of those bloggers i've reading for a long time, esp those that always blur out their photos in their blogs one...

Wanna Check Out Some Cool Unsigned Bands?

(This is a sponsored post.)

I'm a kind of guy that likes great music, especially if it's metal or hard rock. Even better if it's an indie band that has no pretensions of fame and popularity that most of the established Top 40 bands have these days. Don't get me wrong, multi-platinum selling bands play good stuff, but personally for me, there's nothing more exciting than hearing a fresh new sound from an undiscovered band that's giving all it's got, singing with raw emotion.

Everyone knows that there are thousands and thousands of good, undiscovered bands out there. But the problem in finding unsigned bands is that they are, well, unsigned. Not many radio stations want to play music by unsigned bands, and even if they wanted to, they would still have to meet the tastes of a wider range of their audience.

But now, there is a place for you to discover new unsigned bands, and it's at a website called Unsigned! Here, you can find a listing of many, many bands and solo artistes listed by genre, like grunge, hardcore, indie, Christian rock, hip-hop, etc. You name it, they have it. You might want to check out their excellent listing on Bluegrass Artists. If you’re a musician or in a band yourself, and want to publicize yourself, you can also register with them to get yourself listed.

They are also working on adding new features like Music Player, Playlist Editor and CD Creator to enhance the value of the website.

And just like the cliché goes, it’s all about the music.

Are You Fat? Overweight? Obese?

You know, once you reach a certain age, you start to fret issues you never thought about. Or actually, your spouse and doctor will nag you about it. Most of the time it's your cholestrol level and blood pressure. And also your weight.

Yep, weight consciousness isn't confined to preppy teenage girls and young women only, men have to watch the scales (and waist line) if they're to avoid a heart attack or one of those innard failures. You'll hear middle age men talking about BMI and 'good cholesterol' these days, my 35-year old neighbour has started jogging 3 times a week, although at the rate he goes, his 4-year old kid on a tricycle goes faster than him. Plus he shouldn't really gulp down that can of Coke after each jog.

My doctor, who believes in the principle that "if you're slightly overweight, I'll tell you straight in the face you're TOO FAT", told me i needed to lose some weight, 10kg to be exact. Although i noticed he calculated my BMI wrongly, I didn't correct him, I just used it to set as a higher target to achieve. That was exactly one year ago.

Last month, i went for a check-up again, and the end-result was i lost 6kg in total. Not exactly 10kg, but not too bad i thought. That was before the CNY holidays, since then i haven't checked the scales yet...

Let's put aside what the media and Hollywood tells you first. Not being fat has some privileges - obviously. But how thin or light is right? If you're one of those people who have no idea how much 100 pounds or 100kg is, let's take a few examples.


Paris Hilton - 50kg

Jennifer Lopez - 55kg

Lindsay Lohan - umm... before rehab for anorexia, she'd probably be something like 35kg or something like that.

David Beckham — 74kg

Tom Cruise - 77kg

Shaquille O'Neal - 148kg

WWE Wrestler Rikishi - 182kg

(all photos from Wikipedia.)

so i dunno... i'm right there between Tom Cruise and Shaq... as with most Malaysian guys, i suppose. After all that binging during the holidays, maybe i should take my doc's advice and keep to bran and low fat milk...

Or better yet, stick this pic of Simon Cowell on my fridge... ugh...

(pic from Daily Mail)

Still Not Married At 50

Recently, i met up with a friend after more than 10 years. He's almost 50, and still isn’t married. I don’t think he has ever had a serious girlfriend. I’m not entirely sure why this is so, it’s not something you ask your guy pals over a cup of hot kopi O kau at the office canteen.

I suppose that some guys are unmarried at such an age usually are due to few common reasons. Too much time at work, fear of commitment, no chance to meet girls (esp if you work in a male dominated industry), too shy, bats for the other team, etc.

But some of the unmarried guys are no a really nice dudes, with nothing really fundamentally wrong with them. Good family, stable job, no suicidal tendencies, you know the drill. But yet through some cruel twist of fate, they never did find their ‘special one’ as yet (not referring to Jose Moan-rinho).

Maybe, this may have been the scenario for most:-

23 years old – you’re all fired up to enter the working world. Not seriously looking yet, “but I have lots of female friends, but they’re just friends”. Lots of big group outings to the mamak and to the movies.

29 years old – Wow, I seriously need to pay for that new apartment and Honda City VTEC. So it lots of late nights at the office and rounds of golf with the directors in the weekends.

33 years old – Look, I’m picky with girls, but that last one, Erin, was just too possessive. And Michelle, before her, reminded me too much of my mother. Rose was charming, but she’s only ‘just’ an executive, can’t really see a future there… (I’m a manager already, don’t you know?) A life partner is a huge deal, I really, really need to be comfortable with a person if I’m going to spend the rest of my life…

35 years old – look, I’m not worried, but I’m getting tired of the nosy “when are you getting married” questions. By the way, your second cousin, is she seeing anyone? The one I met at your party 4 years ago?

39 years old – well, if it happens, it happens. I’m just enjoying life with my other single pals… we went to Genting to gamble last week and spent Valentine’s Day gambling…

49 years old – Well, hey, I’m rich and I love my nephews and nieces. This is Rocky, my pet Alsatian… come in and I’ll show you my collection of rare Star Wars memorabilia…

Freak Weather Due to Global Warming Causes Snow In Malaysia

Don't believe me?


.
.
.
.


(Scroll down...)


.
.
.
.

Bwahaha. Spotted this at a carwash while pumping petrol. As they say, "I'm dreaming... of a WHITE CHRISTMAS..."